The Ultimate Auntie Selfie Guide

Back in my Tenderoni days I could take a selfie with little thought to my angles. And at barely over 100 pounds, I was nothing but angles. Thanks to my grown and sexy weight ya girl now has curves on curves and I need to put a little more thought into my selfies so that I look fine not frumpy.

This tutorial will take you through the steps I’ve learned recently to up my selfie game.

Choose Your Equipment

Get a remote and a tripod for your phone. Look, we’re past the point of thinking that the best selfies are spur of the moment bits of fierce caught on film. They are planned. Scheduled! STAGED, honey! Figuring that out is half the battle and will help you not feel like a loser when you’re scrolling through Insta.

Prepare Your Environment

Be mindful of your background. Flush the toilet, make the bed, pick up the junk in the background.

Light is your friend. Find your light Sis. Make sure that the light is behind the camera and beaming favorably on you. It’s an awesome highlighter for your face and angles and casts shadows on the curves.


In this pic, the shot on the left is when I posed with my back to the sun. Aside from a better background view when I turned around, the sun hitting my face makes my skin look brighter. The pics were taken with a Samsung 8. 

Learn Your Body

Figure out your best side. Pictures where you’re facing the camera head on are rarely flattering. Look in the mirror and decide which side you like the best.

Learn how to contort your body. What’s that saying about beauty being pain? Well, selfies can hurt. Modeling ain’t easy Sis. Your head, torso and legs need to align in a way that brings your assets to the foreground in a flattering way.

Pose for the Camera Now, Click Click

Take a bunch of pictures of yourself with different facial expressions and poses. Film is free now. There is no need to be stingy with the flix. For me, about 5 per pose works. More than that and it becomes harder to select one because they look so much alike.

Become Editor In Chief

Select the best few photos. Hopefully you did a few good poses so that you have options for each one. This is a good thing because you can post a couple now and then sprinkle the rest out over the next few weeks or months. You are your own best content.

Find your filter. No, this isn’t about keeping your salacious thoughts to yourself, it’s about which set of film parameters work best for you and the vibe you’re going for.


Post that pic!

Let me know in the comments below how your selfies came out. Drop your @while you’re at it!

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